the best way...

If i were a good man, this would never end.
If i were a nice man, this would never end.

End the pain early, by detesting me.
End the pain even earlier, by hating me.
End the pain immediately, by forgetting me.

If hatred is the best way to ease your pain, so be it.
I'd take the pain.

saw this somewhere on the web, found it to be quite true..
err this isn't the exact one, i wrote it out based on what i remembered.
but anyway.. yeap. ain't it so right?

school starts tmr. lecture.
hai... maths physics econs.
GG. PCME here i come.

what an edited post...

actually this post was different from this. wanted to write smth else ytd.

just when i thought my life is changing for the better, things come crashing down on me again.

holy shit.

Jurong Junior College

HELLO PEOPLE!!!

got the posting this morning. when i was on the train to clementi mac
wanted to eat breakfast and get posting tgt. but a lot ppl pangseh
and den we got the sms before we reach there. screwed up moe. say 8am give us at arnd 7am plus. n1 la.
after that went to LAN to play modern warfare 2. be awed. :)
hmm....

"MOE: XU BILI, you are posted to JURONG JC, SCIENCE (25S) under 2010 JAE. Pl report to JC/MI on 28 Jan 10 at 7.30am"

geez. what an expected posting. LOL
someone was so happy.. haiz..

ALL WENT CJC LA. wa piang. nvm those in JJC, i believe we'll survive this :(
LOL it's ok chill
the challenge is still on :)

my blog song is good cuz it's weird?
nice. anyway... today wasn't feeling that good too

don't wish to elaborate la, only some people know why.. hai...
and side effects of coffee is fucking irritating.

back on what i can do best.

10c|<1|\|9 it up don't work.
|-|4[|<1|\|9 it is just too easy for me.

don't understand, you're just not 1337 enough.
try me bitch. try me. :)

to those who think this is referring to you (you know who u are la hor, don't wanna argue anymore)
it isn't lol. take a chill pill and relax.

wanna know what the above means? i'm free all day.
or u could just google up 1337 talk. it's easy. :)

GOOD JOB!

hi guys back from training today

was quite messed up cuz the field was cutting grass today. eh what i talking
the people cutting the field's grass today, so did not have much campcraft training. oh well
at least you guys performed well for drills today!! round of applause!!

yeap to the CCA open house squad, please perform well on the actual day!!
performance today was at least up to standard, but u all can do even better i believe
keep it up! :D

went home after that and was feeling very shag.
damn brenban for playing my iPod till 20% battery _|_ LOL
errr if nothing else i go play COD4 or COD6 MP...
don't think people gonna dota today.

WOOTS, WATCHING HACHIKO TMR.
4 stars eh. LOL

The Walls Have Ears, and even EYES.

next time when u all go out. esp at some condo, don't think it's isolated from the rest.

because sometimes, my network of connections is way larger than you could imagine. if u ever want to fuck with me, better think twice

because, the walls have ears, and even EYES.

A Long Post?

Hi guys, I'm totally back for a proper post.

Sentosa Outing with BRAVO:

Alright, firstly, SORRY GUYS, I WOKE UP LATE LOL. When I saw Suyi sms I just went back to sleep, my bad. LOL! Den woke up a few minutes later and Suyi called... Gah... Still wanted to sleep =\ LOL.
Kk in the end went to Sentosa, and then beach station first. Siloso Beach. Saw Isaac being the tower waving to me and walked towards them. Worked so damn much better than asking me to shout Quack Quack Quack and wait for them to find me. =.=
Then played frisbee and beach volleyball. Thanks to that, I'm having bruised hands now. K maybe went off already, but it's still pain. ANYWAY IT'S FUN. Loving it.. Let's go someday again.
Ate at... Koufu sentosa. I was dying for a drink. Cheapest store for drinks in Sentosa = 7-11.
Seriously, don't go to other drink stalls in Sentosa, burn your wallet.
Then after that went to Palawan(?) Beach to play volleyball again. ISAAC KOH TENG KIAT, I CAN SERVE!! LOL

To Bravo:
I know that most of us got our posting. Some may not be posted back to their own units and etc. But I'd like to say that, no matter what we are still CIs, and don't worry, any problems we'll still be around for each other!! :)
(sounds gay for Bili to say this, but hell. LOL)



Swimming Outings with 4D1:

LOL. K let's not talk about losing our balls to the yellow slide, it's too embarrassing. That was on... forgot which day already. BUT today, was the EPIC swimming outing. Cuz we went to swimming complex just to play with the BLUE SLIDE. (Y) NICE ONE BILI. YOU FOUND YOUR BALLS BACK IN THE BLUE SLIDE!!


Misc Outings:

Alright... firstly, BERNARD.
Posting out also asked me to go out with him ah.. LOL.
A bit lazy to write already, but kind of sad la.. Bernard won't be coming back anymore. :(

Lazy to type out the rest already.

Hmm... these few days keep cannot sleep. Lucky got something to do :)
LOL. tagboard eh.

Do you remember...

do you remember...

Gaming??

hi guys, back for another post since i'm bored
and there is no dota yet?

gaming, let's talk about it. most people think that, oo bili is some crazy addicted gamer
who games 3am into the night.
let me repeat, gaming is a hobby to me, but gaming is NOT my life.
probably u think that gaming is the most important thing in my life.
however, my life is much more impt den gaming.
this is the after exam period, cut me some slack, let me chill out.
JC reopen no more such chances. :(
when i work, i'll probably get a damn nice console and game at home after i work
or maybe get some awesome gaming computer machine, to game at home AFTER i work.
i don't take MCs just to "game"
i game to take MCs, which is bad too. LOL
(for the 3 days MC in CIBTC, i swear i was knocked down by the training, not gaming)

yeap, so get this right.
i live to game, but i dont game to live.

on to today.
went to qianhua's house for pool. yes qianhua dunno about this
cuz we asked jorene to help us book LOL
in the end play for a while and time's up. fast eh, 2 hours just zoom past like that
den we went to niger's house.
niger, sam, joseph, jac, zhehan, janise came. the rest...
er mia. LOL ys training, darren didnt reply. ruixiang replied halfway but since he ignored me just now
i IGN HIM BACK. HAHAHA! LOL sry rx, not on purpose.
after pool watched Sex In the City at niger's house.
(actually, nobody watched. boring as hell)
den go eat at MAC cuz niger wanted to .
and went home
blah. totally random outing.

updated. someone requested to.
oh, people just bitch about people. so it's ok no prabram!

GAH!!!

God of War... got me hooked on.

at least better than dota-ing all day?
i dunno LOL

in the years to come

in the years to come, you will find that
you'll make the same mistake over again. no shit i'm serious
because no.1, u don't seem to learn from them.
no.2, ur line of sight is still deceived by what you feel
lastly, ostracized???? feel it again. because you don't learn. :)

what matters the most isn't about how you're gonna promise yourself what not to do
it matters to not even think about it. because mistakes that are made, can be made again
there's no fucking way that you're not gonna make that same one again.

and finally, in the years to come,
you'll find what you said to be a joke to yourself
and you will laugh at yourself. :)

if you think the above don't relate to you, just ignore la.
if you think it's you, den most probably you ougtta think carefully what type of person are you.
trust me people, don't jump to conclusion that it's you.
because jumping to conclusion that it's you, will just make you one of those ppl that i mentioned above.

unhappiness? clarify please, keeping your god damned mouth SHUT won't do any good.
because that's how you all fucking got ostracized for the past few years.
u don't expect everyone to take the first move towards you.
everyone are taking the first move indeed, away from you.
so please, use your brain to think and talk.

any unhappiness? feel free, i'm always online on msn
thrash it out.
but first, get it right, am i referring to you.

peace out, rock on.

back

i'm back for a god damned post now.

right after a game of dota... gah. first game for today. wow....
damn tired but alert cuz of the two freaking cups of coffee i drank today

hmm.... i got nth to blog abt but just feel like posting leh

er.. aiya i go dota again la. have fun ppl.
this is the authentic ctrl + a. do it properly, or else it's damn obvious.
rock on, peace out.

My Heaven

hello guys.
been a long time ever since i blogged

alright. i skip all the events la... bo liao leh....
just abt today... supposed to go out with ys, jac they all to snow city one
but my parents wanted to take me to jack's place for lunch
so go lor... anyway been a long time ever since i ate with them.

ordered the US top sirloin, erm, quite juicy. nvr eaten steak for a very long time after Os
cuz during Os we'd just go blackboard.
but now blackboard closed down alr :(
who thinks it's sad? it is sad la ok. zhehan would miss the lady serving him there.
LOL

boring la...

"i'm wealthy" eh?
skin me alive. :)

O lvl results!!!

Alright most people would say "I not gonna tell you my result here"

but i'll just say

L1R5 RAW SCORE 13.
AFTER BONUS 11.

DEDICATED SCHOOL WELCOMING ME. JJC. =.=

gratz bili. LOL

Drawing lines...

hi hihi guys!!
bored now cuz nobody is dota-ing :\

today woke up at 8am ++ to go to tanglin's CCA open house!!
met brenban at clementi first. he gotta go get some award right after the open house too
so went to tanglin immediately, when we actually wanted to eat breakfast first (brenban's idea)
went in and saw victor! funny ah LOL lao jiao.
their fancy drills were not bad la :D
at least they still have their mark 5 rifles with them. ours got condemned...
and er... went to their open house to shoot the laser gun. CI marksman here :D
after that waited lor. yvonne la funny LOL.
keep kena suan. saw koksiong in his full u eh.
den went to eat with yvonne and brenban. ate cai fan.
not bad lar. ya not bad.
what else??

went to brenban's edusave merit bersury award presentation or smth.
krazi sia stand there like parade like that
for arnd 1 hour. i go sheng siong buy coke come back still haven start.
saw jason and jasmine there also. in the end chatted with them
jasmine's dad is damn funny ok LOL.
after that me and brenban went to west coast plaza starbucks to find yvonne they all again
and we went off after that (funny ah, go then go off.)
they went wisma i think.

yeap that's all for today

guys, monday get results.
i'm sure nobody's scared la. zzz

good luck!

sometimes it ain't right

sometimes it really ain't right... maybe it was so...
because when u seek for the truth of a standard, the second side of you is lost.
the juggle between two personality starts bili.
be prepared for it.. :(

time to reflect...

it's really a time to ask myself
the definition of a bastard.
the definition of a CI.
the definition of standard.

where's the standard?
ask myself where is the standard,
and i am lost myself.
time to find out, what is the standard,
and how to inculcate the standard.
all the best Bili.

preferred girl? LOL

LOL SOMEBODY DREW THIS EH.

UPDATE. BUSH, UPDATE!

here's an UPDATE. since somebody requested it. bsh bsh bsh.

alright for the OCIP chalet.
first night. all damn high ah... LOL the bbq was a bit. funny.
a few sticks of satay nia. it's ok nvm. loved the food. den play mahjong.
kickass at least i didnt get addicted.

first night. of course go chalet it's all about the night.
since we forgot to book the bikes, no night cycling. zai.
so all just mahjong thru the night. pwned.
no life ah people, no life.
i was playing the comp + tv. got spiderman 3 la dey, but not thru the night.
so just mahjong and do shit thru the whole night la.

second morning, fuckers went back to school to crash school. LOL
den 3 retards went back to school to give simi year book.
in the end left me and cl in the chalet.
do what =.= watch tv, sleep, cook eggs.
after that they came back, we go white sands play play arcade. bball machine sucks.
cant aim properly.
after that cl played the jukebox or smth.
and ate at sakae sushi.

SECOND NIGHT. nice. ljx brought ddr.
keep playing.
carried away.. by the moonlight shadow...LOL
LOL funny ah the card games. tio quite a few la me.
after that some went to sleep. i started to chiong play PSP djmax.
AAH!! now den got the OCIP feeling.

oh forgot to add on first night we blind mice. raped weiheng.
totally.
LOL

hmm after that wake up and go home.
apparently need to wake somebody up
with a lot of hmm? hmm? hmm?
=.= funny la LOL

after that went home la, duh. and dota dota dota
den arnd 5pm i sleep till 10pm wake up eat dinner, den dota 2 ronds,
after that go back sleep till arnd 10am this morning, got ready for training.

today training ah.. hope NCOs can plan better and have better communication nxt time la
make it a must, hope that nxt training would be better!!
haha when sch start for me, maybe not so free to check things out alr
but hopefully, i'll still do fine
both studies and npcc.
:)

yes other than that nth else.
rmb, no sad smileys. :) LOL

2009?

er... 2009 ain't really a good year for me. so i shall not go on into the reflections and such.
cuz i've done them all too much alr
so much that i'm sick of doing it again

anyway it was a bad year and i'm glad that i've pulled through it.
yeap.

2010:
resolutions?

it's better not to have any. cuz most of the time, i cant complete them,
but my resolution (not really a resolution, but a target) for this year is to...

complete at least one of my new year resolution.
yeap.

so here it goes...
1) be that awesome cadet inspector that gains respect not from the rank, but from within himself.
2) stop screwing up my studies. =.=
3) stop screwing up my THINGS. esp when they spoil so fast
4) stop screwing up relationship. be it with family or with friends. i've had enough trouble last year.
5) stop screwing up my own health

yeap. so long as i can dun screw up any one of this for the ENTIRE year of 2010, i guess i've at least achieved one of the new year resolution (most likely, i'll screw up all.)

yup! there's a chalet on 3 jan, ah... bringing my laptop there to play L4D2 all the way...
and after complete L4D2, i'll just play COD6... after complete COD6, i'll just play NFSC.
yea.
peace out.

rock on ppl \m/